I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Pants are for mortals
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
