It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
