She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
