His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize