Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
