I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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