HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
