i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
