could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
