piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
