i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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