A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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