I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
