Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
