i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
