You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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