You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
