she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
