butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
