I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize