it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So much rum. So many feels.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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