there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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