You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
