I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
