I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
