So drunk its hurt
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
