is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize