i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
