So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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