Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
