And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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