don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
