Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize