I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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