Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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