i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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