Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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