3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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