I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
