my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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