you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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