thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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