Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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