I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
