The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
