too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
