My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
