What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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