I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
