We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
