I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
