I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your penis caused this!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
