I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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