Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's official drugs can't kill me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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