Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
