it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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