Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
