It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
