she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
