Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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