Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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