Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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