Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
