so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
