I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize