Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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