problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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