she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
