Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me

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(816): View more from Missouri

at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?

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(515): View more from Iowa

I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"

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(916): View more from California

It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment

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(519): View more from Ontario

Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?

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(254): View more from Texas

I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.

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(858): View more from California

I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!

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